EXIST

For centuries man has grappled with the riddle of what it means to be a
person. But the questions Who is man? and What is the meaning of life? are
still unanswered. Yet, while man is still a long way from arriving at any
acceptable definitions, there is deep within everyone the hint of an idea of
what it means to be a whole person, that is happy, functioning and fulfilled.
So, throughout history man has made a continuous search to find out what
makes him whole. Every person is different so the special situation in which
one person finds fulfillment can't work for everyone. But in the lives of those
who have found fulfillment there is a universal pattern. The universal pattern
is that those who have found fulfillment have had a willingness to accept
change and take risks. Conversely, those who have not found wholeness are
characterized by an unconquerable desire to be safe, to be out of danger and
to avoid risk.
The first step in the search for identity is to answer the question, How
do you see yourself? In the play No Exit by Jean Paul Sartre Estelle loses
sight of her identity. She says "When I can't see myself, I begin to wonder if
I really and truly exist." What a man sees himself as in the mirror largely
determines his actions during the day. Estelle had to look into the "mirror" of
men to confirm her identity. A man is the number one determining factor in
discovering who he is. Each individual must understand that he is responsible
for his own pain, misery, unhappiness, or for his own joy. Man is not a
product of what people have done or are now doing to us. Man has the
power to become whatever he wants to be; to feel as much love or anger or
joy as we want to feel. Another subsequent factor in determining our identity
is the image, name, or label given to us by society. In other words, what we
believe other people think of us. Most people participate in many groups
friends, school, family, jobs, clubs, churches and more each contributing to
our identity. We have to accept the death of the superman who is alone
needing no one, inner directed and indifferent to his surroundings. We see in
Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment that when Raskolnkov separates
himself from humanity by committing murder that he could not survive. A
person needs to understand that they are responsible for their own choices but
they cannot discount the fact that there will always be a group that is essential
to understanding their identity.

There is a far more important area than how man sees himself or how
society sees him, this area is where he has the most control over his own
identity. The area in which he has most control over his own identity is in the
area of what he is actually doing. In other words, man determines himself by
the choices he makes. Having this freedom of choice entails commitment and
responsibility. Since individuals are free to choose their own path they must
accept the responsibility of following their commitment wherever it leads. In
the play No Exit by Sartre the characters Estelle and Garcin thought of
themselves as being nobler than what they were, when in reality the choices
they made determined one to be a boy toy and the other to be a cruel coward.
The Bible also gives us some insight on this point. What made Moses
Moses? The fact that he made the choices he did. If Moses had stayed in
Pharaoh's court, if Moses had stayed in the desserts of Midian, or if Moses
had refused to go to Pharaoh, then he would not have been Moses. We have
the freedom to choose and we become what we choose to do.

Far to many people are locked into set patterns of thinking and living.
People resist change vigorously satisfied with the dull normality of the same
routines. One of the most vital ingredients to any fulfilling life is the ability to
accept change and choose to risk. Change for most people does not always
feel good but it is an important part in growing. Most people fear change
because they are afraid of the risks that it will bring. When people do not
conquer their fear all growth stops. The fear of growing of old is what kept
Estelle from being more than mere a boy toy. The fear of dying kept Garcin
from being a great pacifist journalist. If a Congressional Medal of Honor
winner had not conquered his fear of death, to jump out of a trench to save his
buddy, his friend would be dead. If Moses had not conquered his fear of
losing a comfortable life, Israel would still be slaves to Egypt. If Columbus
had not conquered his fear of falling off the earth, America would not have
been settled. If my Dad had not conquered his fear of rejection, I would have
never of been born. People need to look at their fear, consider all the options
then move out and act boldly. People can stand outside their fear indefinitely
and nothing will change. But everyone has within themselves the resources
and the strengths to face and confront their fears, and to become the whole
person they want to become, they have to do it.

The questions Who is man? and What is the meaning of life? may
never be answered in our lifetime. But people can begin to lead more
fulfilling lives by understanding and applying three closely related principles.
People must begin to see themselves as being their own self and not just a
product of society. After people realize that they are their own self they must
realize they are what they do. The final step in living more fulfilling lives is
to be open to change and risk. Breaking from this paralyzing fear will allow
people to realize life is a gift and they will try to live every day to the fullest.